Changing Paths Newsletter
1st Night on the Inside
1st Edition
THE IMPACT OF INCARCERATION
Precious Gem Spoking Words By Mr. Dollar Samuels
Jan 5, 1995, after being sentenced to 30yrs i was sent to East Jersey State Prison aka Rahway at the age of (24). When I arrived it was lunch time they held me in the rotunda. I was able to see people coming and going to and from the mess hall. Some that knew me were yelling my name, it took the edge off a bit to see familiar faces. I was then sent to (4)wing. As I entered the cell it looked like a dungeon from ancient times. I stood there in a daze thinking to myself ( wow, so this is how I'm going to spend the next (15) years of my life.) My daze was broken as the porter walked up to my cell with the linen for my bed. As he hands them to me, he says his name is Snowballs that he is the porter, wing rep, barber that he is gay, so if I wanted to do anything let him know. I tell him thanks for the info but I don't go that way. He then says that he's had, Muslims, Christians, (5) percenters it don't matter. And he keeps it to himself, so he will give me time to settle in 6 come back to me. That night I had so many thoughts running through my mind, specifically about the stories I've heard about guys befriending you only to get you comfortable enough to trust them then rape you. I didn't sleep well that night because my deepest concern was that I was going to end up in here for the rest of my life for killing somebody in here
" When the Glitz & Glamour of the street Life turn into your worse nightmare"
THE IMPACT OF INCARCERATION
Precious Gem Spoking Words By Mrs. Deborah Phillips-Brown
" And Then My World Came Crashing Down"
THE IMPACT OF INCARCERATION
Precious Gem Spoking Words By Mr. Samad Hamza
Part 1
The impact of Incarceration dwells beyond ordinary borders of social destruction. It decimates the household, the removal of the vanguard, the male model, strength and lessons that's necessity to fundamental growth and development has been lessened to a (15) minute phone call, The impact on the wife, spouse and family is inconceivable, the full burden of the household is now her responsibility, the nurturing, substance and care for the children becomes overwhelmingly a difficult, if not impossible task. Her ories on the phone, the silent cries that even in physical distance you can still hear, the stains of failure cascading from your eyes, you can't wipe them because it's permanent. These are impacting from external effects of being incarcerated, yet there lies an even more painful acceptance when the slam of the bars and the loud locks combine to state, "Lock The F in '' for years. You can't count minutes, days and months, Seems too mundane, so it's an annual change that holds your attention, 5,10,15,20..more to go.
" The Impact Of Incarceration Dwells Beyond.."
THE IMPACT OF INCARCERATION
Precious Gem Spoking Words By Ms. Lakesha Jones
Part 1
To be honest with you I did not want to get in that shower. I tried to tell the officer I did not have to take a shower because I took one before I got on the County bus to come down state. She said if you do not get in the showr she will give me a blue sheet. What the fuck is a blue sheet I asked? She said a charge that will take your skinny ass to lock up and your smelly ass can sit back in a cell alone smelling like musk. I was so angry that I had to take a showr with all these strangers. When I got in the shower I held my back against this dingy ass wall and washed as quickly as possibly can. I heard all the smart remarks, but I ignored they thirsty asses. I was ready to fight whoever came near me. I missed my shower mat in my tub. I miss my mother and siblings. I wanted to go home. I wanted to be at home with people who I love and not laying next to strangers that only knew me as a number. I wanted to cry, but I had to be that strong "Tea Bag".
"When My World Came Crashing Down" Wow. My first night into prison was a flash of my whole life becoming still. It felt like a nightmare on Elm Street trying to wake up from this dream that was holding me against my own will. I was devastated beyond measures stepping into a room with a medal bed a toilet, mirror,desk and a metal window. Oblivious to what was happening next is when the door shut close my mind racing my heart palpitating, my stomach filled with fear and anxiety. My initial thoughts of abandoning my children distorted my memory to it's last final blow. Tears were flowing like a river my heart was aching from hurt, pain and confusion. I wanted "OUT" but there was no way out of this tragedy. Blinded by the stillness of never returning home to my family again. It was cold, i'm trembling out of rage and mixed emotions of pain. Cod please give me the strength to hold on. My world came crumbling down once I realized from this point on my life would be different for a very long time. Once the officer blew that whistle, I knew in that moment my world was gone.!!
" The Impact Of Incarceration Dwells Beyond.."
Part 2
Prison is a society of degenerates, robbers, murders, rapist, do one believe tht the placement of this faction behind bars correct the behavior? Does it automatically exact change of inner morals and values? Absolutely not.. This is an impact of Incarceration that's exempt from most post conversations, it takes a focus, a will not to belong to learn yourself, to embrace positive while surrounded by negatives. To be visionary, although decades separate your call to freedom, you write, learn trades, enroll in college, all with a perspective of a civilian return to a society you once was instrumental in causing havoc. This is the impact that offers a choice and it takes a man/woman of acceptance and correction to choose the positive. Finally, the impact of your return. re-establishing your family ties, learning your children, praying that the wife, girlfriend you left remains yours, finding employment to be the provider, sustainer and maintainer of your structure.
"A woman is like a tea bag you never know how strong she is until she get's in hot water"
-Eleanor Roosevelt
"A woman is like a tea bag you never know how strong she is until she get's in hot water"
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Part 2
I did not know how these strangers were coming. When I say these words how they were coming. I mean what they would do to me while I was sleep. I saw movies about prison but being in the institution physically was not like the movies i watched. The place was dark the stenched smell irritated my stomach badly. I stayed up and watched the ceiling and prayed to my higher power because he was the only one that could have gave me peace that surpassed anything that I was enduring at that time. Earlier that day I got one of those smelly old books that sat on an old bookshelf in the small day area. The pages was yellow and I saw small bugs on the pages, but I didn't want to kill them because I was in dire need for some company. I read this book all night until sunlight.
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